ParentCircle is a magazine that empowers parents to raise successful and happy children. Through the fathers control over his daughters choices, he attempts to protect her from any potential risks. From the perspective of an over-protective parent, an example of this would be a father that refuses to allow his daughter to attend a sleepover at the house of the daughters friend. Overprotective parents want to keep their children from being physically or emotionally hurt, by protecting their children from the harsh cruelties that reality has in store at all costs. Because self-esteem is highly dependent on assessing how others regard us, the overprotectiveness exhibited by parents implies to the child they aren't capable, competent or good enough to manage life by themselves. Challenges in forming and maintaining relationships. Ways parents project their anxieties would be, for example, through excessive childproofing when theyre babies to approval of who their child can be friends with as teenagers, actions which lead to social anxiety as well. He believes that he is incapable of being independent and standing up for himself. While it is normal for parents to be concerned about their children, we must understand that there exists a fine line that differentiates protection from overprotection. Persistence is learned from fathers, study suggests. But its consequences from preventing interactions with other peers to. They display people-pleasing attitudes and can struggle with learning to say "no" or to express their authentic selves in front of others. Parents may feel overly protective of their kids and want to control every aspect of their lives, fearing dangers such as drugs, alcohol, violence in schools, teenage pregnancies and pedophiles. It will be difficult for them to maintain friendships and relationships. Pradeep. That role includes the fundamental right to direct the child's upbringing and guide them right as they grow. This lack of competence leads to feelings of low self-worth, lack of self-confidence, and increased dependency . Because they project their own anxieties of the world onto the child as theyre growing up, the child internalizes and carries the beliefs that the world is a dangerous, horrible place that should be avoided at all costs and those anxieties towards the unknown into their teenage and adulthood. If you always keep code-protection running on your child, he will become a nervous, timid adult who can never face fears and step over them. Self-acceptance enables us to connect and grow spiritually. Risk-taking behaviors are also a consequence of growing up with overprotective parents. Over-protective parents who are over-concerned about their children's health and safety do not allow their children's exposure to germs, thus not allowing their immune . Without this, the child will be unable to use their words to deal with hurtful behaviour non-violently and confidently. Studies have shown that overprotection is more detrimental than beneficial to a child, leading to unfavorable effects on his cognitive and socio-emotional skills. As for the effect of overprotection on the wellbeing of the child, studies have shown that overprotective parenting can lead to risk aversion, a dependency on the parents, a higher risk of psychological disorders, a lack of strong coping mechanisms, and chronic anxietywhich intuitively, makes a lot of sense. If you find yourself relating to this, recognizing yourself or your parents within this article, youre not alone and its okay to feel resentment. An insecure attachment style in relationships is also a consequence of overprotective parenting. Parents need to know the difference between being involved in their children's lives and being overprotective. Talking excessively to spouse, friend, or teachers to find out how their child is doing. Create an account to receive great content curated, personalised home page, and get support in parenting. Overprotective parenting entails shielding your child from sadness, failure, harm, pain, rejection, frustration, challenges, resentment, and other negative emotions. You Create Too Many "Safe Zones". Works Cited. The dangers of overprotective parents have been well studied. For example, keeping track of what they eat, managing their friendships, punishing them for poor grades, invading their privacy, organizing their extracurricular activities, and so on. Mother knows best after all. Stepping in to. Do you spend too much time consoling your child? Managing your child's friendships 6. The fundamental role of parents (biological and adoptive parents) are, support, nurturance, and guidance for their children. They will avoid opportunities and will be unable to overcome challenges. This kills the inquisitiveness in children and they end up being nervous, dependent adults who can neither question, nor explore. As such, it is essential that all children develop the necessary socioemotional skills to cope with lifes multitude of challenges. Overprotectiveness conveys to the child a sense that the world is dangerous. Reference: Therapist Joanna Pantazis blog 8 negative effects of overprotective parents.. For example, theyre straight out of high school prepas at university, they dont know anyone there, they never learned how to make friends because their parents did that for them and because theyre so anxious and accustomed to avoiding situations out of their comfort zones, they would rather self-isolate, never make friends and stay alone; which, of course, leads to or furthers their depression. Their self-esteem will gradually deteriorate. Overprotective parenting keeps them unhurt while theyre in their grasp, but they cant stay in a cage forever. This, in turn, could lead to depression as well. Devina Kaur is an inspirational speaker, radio host, and producer. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. This hiding of their authentic self ultimately harms them the most as they harbor and hold on to disappointment, guilt, resentment and frustration for themselves. A study by Brigham Young University (2012) reveals that parents, particular fathers, play a vital role in developing determination and perseverance in their children. Overprotective parenting undoubtedly has some quite devastating effects for the individual on multiple levels: emotional growth, the development of a healthy identity and Sense of Self, self-esteem, subsequent social interactions and relationships, and more, as we established today. Retrieved from http://catalogue.pearsoned.ca/educator/product/Educational-Psychology-Sixth-Canadian-Edition-6E/9780134283609.page, Pear Tree Education, 215-2678 West Broadway, Vancouver, B.C., V6K 2G3. By continuing to use this site, you consent to this policy. Overprotective mother syndrome is another such term that depicts mothers who become hyper-anxious about their child's well-being. Educational Psychology Review, 17(2), 125146. A hair expert clears the air, Are you an overprotective parent? Common signs of childhood emotional neglect in children include: Lack of confidence. A parents frequent scolding or use of physical punishment can have a negative impact on a childs behaviour. They become prisoners of your comfort zones and fail to relish anything else that the world offers. (2012). The parents' constantly high stress levels remind their children of danger and cause anxiety in them 8 . "What Happens When Overprotected Children Grow Up.". The overprotective parent wants to protect their children from harm, hurt and pain, unhappiness, bad experiences and rejection, hurt feelings, failure and disappointments. Once they grow up, they believe the only way to feel loved and cared for by their parents, or at all, is by themselves, being perfect; be that by excelling in studies or being the poster kid for perfect, well-behaved child. As adults, this might manifest as adopting their parents perfectionism but using it to exert control over their own lives. Adulthood then perpetuates this train of thought further. Probiotic foods vs fermented foods: What is better for your health? Constantly reminding them about danger 7. Although researchers largely view parental involvement and monitoring as having very positive effects on a childs education, the problem with over-protective parents is the tendency to hover around their children at all times, ready to protect them from any perceived challenge. Baumrinds definition of permissive parenting is of a parent who is responsive to their childs needs, but has low expectations of their performance. Then, in relationships (platonic or romantic), they resort to being pushovers and people-pleasers, to putting others needs above their own for fear of being alone or rejected. Talking to your child about the issues he will face in life is one of the best ways of preparing him to face life ahead. Finally, over-protective parents negatively affect their childs academic performance by avoiding registering their children for any after-school education programs for fear of overloading their child. So, sign in RN to get your daily dose of wellness. In both situations, it is arguable that it is better to be over-protective than negligent. How To Help Your Teenager Cope With The Changed World, 6 'Adult' Issues You Must Discuss With Your Child, 21-Day Nutrition Challenge to Transform your Health, Frequently Asked Questions from our Parent Community, Why you must track your child's developmental milestones. If you have the resources, go to therapy. The first step toward self-awareness is self-awareness. In modern life, a growing degree of narcissism and social media fuelled paranoia have poisoned our mental health. Aggressive behaviour toward parents. Taking too much care of your children and protecting them from setbacks can be harmful. As a result, low confidence and lack of self-esteem take hold, which doesn't stand them in good stead in real-life situations. Shannon Lipscomb, assistant professor of human development and family sciences at OSU Cascades, states that a parents ability to regulate themselves and to remain firm, confident and not overreact is a key way they can help their children to modify their behavior (Oregon State University, 2012). Movies To Watch With Your Child, this Christmas! Not until I read the research. Since, for the most part, they were sheltered and kept separated from reality, they never acquired the skills they needed. This form of overprotective parenting can come into play again and again, as your child climbs higher than ever before at the playground or demands to learn to use scissors. Its many conflicting emotions but you do whats best for you because, at the end of the day, youre with yourself all the time. The Real Cost of Sexual Assault: When Your Rape Costs More Than Your Rape. And, the adverse effects of our overbearing parenting style carry on not just into their adolescence but also into adulthood. Not until I wrote about it and had to hold myself back from including my personal experience at every example. Since they were probably instilled from a young age that no one is good enough or trust-worthy and they can only trust themselves, and sometimes not even themselves but only their parents, they find it difficult to relent their control and connect with other people. Monitoring their behaviour can be detrimental to their overall physical, emotional, and mental development. Retrieved from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/10/121010112540.htm A post shared by Sarah Andersen (@sarahandersencomics). Not to mention how other people might sense that theyre being dishonest and keep their distance, leading to feeling misunderstood and lonely. In other words, the mother protects her child from a situation that all other children at the camp have likely faced. Agreeable so, parents create a little being and vow to be by him at all times, ensuring there isnt a single trouble bothering him. The world has changed as social distancing, online classes, and work from home are the new norm. When parents exert too much control over their children, the children are unable to make their own decisions. As children who have been under constant vigilance and pressure from their parents their whole lives, once they become teenagers or adults and are presented with the freedom and personal autonomy that comes with becoming their own person, they either are 1. excessively reserved, timid and averse to risk or 2. they will go through a rebellious phase as teenagers or what I affectionately call the late stage teenage rebellion phase as adults. Over-parenting through excessive control, supervision, and interference is an unhealthy way to raise your kids. In the broader context, if you are a parent who overprotects your child, you are going to spend more time with your child, or they will be with you (at home, etc.) There are numerous reasons why parents should avoid being excessively protective. While he is depriving his daughter of fun and playtime with her friend by not allowing her to sleepover at the friends house, he is protecting her from the risk of sexual abuse. It will promote low self-esteem and self-doubt. Oregon State University. What each of us considers normal parenting is due in large part to our personal experiences; in other words, we learn particular parenting styles when we are children through the process of socialisation. In some cases, children of strict and overprotective parents show an inability to handle even daily stressors, have poor time management skills, lack of creativity, and do not enjoy new experiences. Hey mothers out there, sign up now and thank me later :) - BY Priya Rathore, The best thing that happened to me as a mother is me signing up with them for my two sweet little munchkin's needs. She is also the author of the self-help book called "Too Fat Too Loud Too Ambitious". She responded, No, no, Im saying it is abuse. And I sat there in the silence that followed, let that statement sink in and started crying. They might do this either by molding their personalities to be what the other person wants or by never saying no or placing boundaries. Try these 6 face yoga exercises to tone and sculpt your face, Not sure how long you can use anti-dandruff shampoo? Those actions parents take and words they say under the guise of keeping their child safe, stay with them forever. It feels like youre supposed to love and respect your parents and owe them for taking care of you and raising you, but how can you do that when you know how many issues you have because of them and their actions? A Review of the Relationship Among Parenting Practices, Parenting Styles, and Adolescent School Achievement. There are many reasons why parents become overprotective of their children, including: Fear of losing a child in a tragic accident or death; Fear that the world is a dangerous place; Fear that their children will be bullied or teased; Fear that their children will get into trouble; and Fear that their children will do something wrong or illegal. This also leads to guilt when exercising that independence or autonomy because it feels like something they arent supposed to do. The major problem with this condition is that the signs are very easy to miss. What are you currently focused on? As such, if parents protect their children from experiencing challenges, failure, risks, or negative emotions, their children will be less likely to reach higher academic levels. Baumrinds definition of authoritarian parenting is of a parent who loves their child, but exerts control over every aspect of the childs life. They will be college students with no friends, staying by themselves because they would rather be alone than talk to someone and be rejected. Devina Kaur is an inspirational speaker, radio host, and producer. Lack of cognitive skills and risk-averse. Consequently, such parents do the thinking, speaking, and acting on behalf of their children. However, if the overprotective parenting was particularly traumatic, the child might have grown to resent their parents and stay emotionally and even physically distant to protect themselves which indicates an anxious avoidant attachment style. With the belief that they must keep their children safe, instead of teaching them how to avoid getting hurt or how to take care of themselves when they inevitably do, parents keep their kids in a little bubble; fostering dependence on the parent and a fear of independence on their kid. This perfectionism and need for control contributes to problems within their relationships. Overprotective parents end up making . Effective parenting involves setting limits and teaching kids to deal with the consequences that result from their actions. Parents should be concerned about the safety and well-being of their children. Overprotective parents end up making their children stressed and anxious, and often groom weak personalities. Effects of over-protection: Overprotective parents affect the lives of their children in numerous ways. With a single click, you can sign up and save anything and everything youd like to read later. Continously checking up on them 9. Your child will begin to feel insecure and may fear abandonment. As a parent, teach your child how to persevere against all odds. These types of parents are highly concerned about their children's safety and decision making. 2022-07-07 Related Q&A: What are the side effects of Tubectomy? We know that, for the most part, parents have their childrens wellbeing at heart while raising them. This might also manifest as having extremely high standards, due to the added perfectionism, and hoping for a fairytale perfect person and relationship, which doesnt exist; realizing that no one is perfect and everyone has flaws is normally shocking to these adults. When we teach our children to live un-apologetically and authentically, we give them the tools they need to thrive in the world. They might be overly sensitive and react negatively to disapproval and criticism, they might second-guess themselves constantly and judge themselves harshly when they perceive something they said or did was wrong. http://doi.org/10.1007/s10648-005-3950-1 Agreed that most parents have faith in their child's ability to cope with age-appropriate challenges. North Carolina State University. Controlling their choice of activity 8. Micromanaging everything your kids do 2. Woolfolk, A., Winne, P. H., & Perry, N. E. (2016). Regardless, over-protective parenting, in whatever form, has multiple negative consequences to a childs academic and socioemotional potential, including lower academic performance than peers, weak goal completion abilities, unhealthy socioemotional traits, and reduced life chances. In fact, by protecting their children from the stress of being accountable for task completion, over-protective parents increase the likelihood of children experiencing stress throughout their life. As theyre growing up, theyre never given the opportunity to prove to themselves that they can accomplish things by themselves, thus growing up believing they cant. Social-emotional skills: The overprotected teen lacks confidence and has low self-esteem. ScienceDaily. Studies show that a parents involvement in their childs education has an impact on their academic performance, more so even than the childs school. ScienceDaily. Also, parents who suffer from anxiety illness are prone to reflect overparenting. As for the effect of overprotection on the wellbeing of the child, studies have shown that overprotective parenting can lead to risk aversion, a dependency on the parents, a higher risk of psychological disorders, a lack of strong coping mechanisms, and chronic anxietywhich intuitively, makes a lot of sense. With the sleepover example, the father may consider his decision to be the lesser of two evils. Good cop-bad cop: Heres how to get the parenting game right. When theyre not reading or deciding what to read next, they might be starting that new anime they were recommended. Overprotective parents fall into a fairly broad category of parenting; some may be driven by fear of injury while others may worry their kids won't be successful without their constant attention. Thanks much Beingtheparent.com - BY Srishti Apte. Activities like excessive partying, alcohol and drug abuse, doing extreme sports, getting tattoos and piercings, etc. Why Parents Become Overprotective The intention of overprotective parenting is well-meaning. Children of over-protective parents are at greater risk of being bullied, or becoming a bully. However, their approach to said goal can sometimes be misguided and may have serious implications on the childs development and adulthood. Overprotective parenting can have major psychological consequences. University of Warwick. They protect their child, yes, but also deprive them of necessary stimuli and experiences. ScienceDaily. Its okay to be angry and sad. Children with overprotective parents are more likely to have clinical childhood anxiety and are also more likely to struggle more when they're adults. The most valuable help extended in the most simple way. more than they would if you . This character is a perfect example of actions an overprotective parent will take to keep their child safe. They provide constant surveillance and restrictions, they want to control the childs environment and actions, theyre over-involved in the childs daily life and decisions, they encourage safety and dependence over autonomy and exploration and always know whats best for their child and emphasizing this to them at every occasion. (2012). Being overprotective, you might fear for your kid every step of the way, helping him now, then again, and even again. (2012). Also Read: Good cop-bad cop: Heres how to get the parenting game right. Click to learn more. Pearson. In fact, there is even a moniker for moms who tend to be overbearing helicopter moms. An anxious ambivalent attachment is formed when the child is not encouraged to be curious and explore the world and instead bonds to their parents in an anxious or clingy way. Beingtheparent.com , you guys Rock !!! Our approach to parenting is likely to be influenced by that used by our parents. Join a community to interact with like-minded parents and share your thoughts on parenting, From Self-consciousness to Self-confidence, Share your thoughts, parenting tips, activity ideas and more, Share your thoughts, tips, activity ideas and more on parenting, A compilation of the most-read, liked and commented stories on parenting, We use cookies to allow us to better understand how the site is used. The child will not learn how to overcome fear and step outside of their comfort zone. Shunning away from emotional closeness. Furthermore, as the homework was completed by the parent, the childs teacher may be oblivious to the fact that the child has not, in fact, achieved the learning outcomes. I personally grew up with overprotective parents and, as I did the research for this article, I remembered the words my therapist told me on our very first session together. It may harm your childs mental health and make them emotionally dependent on you for happiness. Allowing your offspring desired freedom is crucial for a childs wellbeing. Furthermore, overprotective parents may be more likely to feed their children unhealthy foods to protect them from harm. As established above, over-protective parents affect their childs life chances, both academically and socio-emotionally. They'll most likely have low self-esteem and self-worth. Firstly, children of over-protective parents are at greater risk of being bullied, or becoming a bully. As children, they became used to their parents need for perfection being tied to how much affection they received. They will feel powerless, and will become overly sensitive, naive, and mentally deficient. Believe me when I say it will help. Such actions prevent the child from learning from the homework practice or from making mistakes. What is so horrible about keeping them safe? The problems and consequences appear when the child has grown up and becomes an adult. Overprotective parenting can impact children's mental health and relationships. We are not our parents and you are your own person deserving of love, appreciation and respect. For every year that a parent prevents their child from attending academic camps during the long summer break, they will cause their child to suffer from increasingly lower academic competitiveness than peers that do attend such camps. The opinions expressed in this article are the writers own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus. Whatever its root, over-protective behavior can be difficult to see because it often looks a lot like loving parenting. Relying on the opinions of others makes it even more difficult to feel comfortable being authentic because they fear that others will reject them in favor of the image they presented at first. One socioemotional tool is assertiveness. Do you micromanage nearly everything for your children? They generally assume the role of pursuer because they learned that the only way to receive affection from their parents was when they were acting desperate or had extremely negative reactions to things. self-help book called "Too Fat Too Loud Too Ambitious". I was describing what I could remember of my upbringing and my parents and she said something along the lines of Yknow, overprotective parenting is considered abuse, and I said Well, no I dont consider what they did was abuse, because I thought she had asked me. Copyright 2014-2022 Mykids Ventures Private Limited. Did you know that an overprotected child suffers from low confidence and self-esteem as an adult? A school may argue that a parent is being over-protective regarding peer conflict, while the mother or father may think that they are being caring a parent. Taking too much care of your children and protecting them from setbacks can be harmful. Beingtheparent.com is the best thing that has happened to me as a mother. Aside from academic performance, over-protective parenting can negatively affect children socio-emotionally. They will also resort to sexual activities, drinking or drug abuse and other adrenaline rushing acti Continue Reading You are indirectly transferring negative energy to children. Below are the most common consequences of getting too involved in your childs life by being over-obsessive and over-protective parents you actually are . Maturity comes from being able to decide things, take the leap and even failing. Instead, teach them to think for themselves and help them make better decisions. Parents overprotective tendencies stem from their own anxiety because they know the world is a horrible place and so they want to protect their child from it. Gracias, Amrita. However, some major effects of overprotection are discussed here: . COVID-19 is spreading havoc globally. While parents have tremendous potential to increase their childs academic success, they have equal potential to cause their academic failure. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); We support parents through the journey of Pregnancy & Parenthood with our insightful and well curated content.Read more. An excess of anything is always bad for you, and this also applies to parenting! Overreacting includes not only getting angry, but also being overprotective, such interfering in situations that the child is capable to dealing with independently. Likewise, without learning autonomy, the child is at higher risk of becoming the perpetrator of bullying by being influenced by others. Firstly, children of over-protective parents are at greater risk of being bullied, or becoming a bully. Are you shielding your child from mistakes? What consequences do they, as adults, then have to face? Effects of overprotective parents. Inclusive in the role is the importance for personal development of the children. Or maybe theyre realizing they have a deadline to meet in two days while theyre in the middle of a 100k word fan-fiction that simply can not be put down. Youre worthy of love for simply existing, with no strings attached. We support parents through the journey of Pregnancy & Parenthood with our insightful and well curated content. This develops into a preoccupied attachment style as adults where theyre more focused on pursuing a romantic relationship because they never feel fully secure in the relationships they do form. 8 negative effects of overprotective parents. unhealthy food habits or inappropriate language), or even the risk of sexual abuse. Consoling your child too much 5. Its not like theyre missing out on anything, theyre just children. Therefore, while parents have tremendous potential to increase their childs academic success, they have equal potential to cause their academic failure. This leads to depression and other anxiety disorder. Because self-esteem is highly dependent on assessing how others regard us, the overprotectiveness exhibited by parents implies to the child they arent capable, competent or good enough to manage life by themselves. What consequences do they, as adults, then have to face? Spera, C. (2005). This approval will most likely be tied to the only praise and love theyll receive from their parents. ScienceDaily. Effects on Socio-Emotional Potential Aside from academic performance, over-protective parenting can negatively affect children socio-emotionally. All for free. The problem with being an overprotective parent is that the child misses out on the opportunity to build responsible behavior skills, build autonomy, and develop self-esteem. They will be adults who cant handle retail or food jobs because theyre terrified of being yelled at by strangers. Here's how to help your teenager cope with the changing world. Not teaching your child responsibility 4. Strict parents set high standards for their children and reinforce the importance of meeting those expectations. They then compare themselves to their peers and see discrepancies in performance that then impacts their self-esteem and self-worth. As a result, the child becomes an easy target for bullies. Regrettably, more often than not, what they perceive to be measures taken in the childs best interest actually ends up causing them more harm than they realize. Make it a point to teach your children about acceptance on a regular basis. Get curated, personalised content as per your parenting stage. As parents, we should instill in our children empathy, kindness, and compassion. While parents may feel that stress or confusion are always bad, studies show that creating learning situations which involve challenging and confusing problem-solving and critical thinking scenarios leads to better academic performance and transfer to new learning situations. Returning to the summer camp scenario from earlier, by not encouraging her son to overcome his separation anxiety or to experience new social situations, the mother is encouraging him to further develop his negative emotionality and to avoid having to change his behaviour. 2. Retrieved from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/04/130425214005.htm Studies show that a parents involvement in their childs education has an impact on their academic performance, more so even than the childs school. We understand by now that overprotective parents value dependency over autonomy. - He is only being made handicapped by his parent's overprotective attitude. And you will be okay. Another example would be the parents who make weekly or daily appointments to see their sons teacher in order to protect him from any risk of academic failure, or to constantly mediate his friendship conflicts. But when parents will not allow risks, kids will cease to be independent and productive instead they will always be immature, leading lives under someones wings. Such attributes are learned behaviours first learned at home. , I couldn't have asked for more. Let us look at how an overprotective parenting style affects the child as he moves into adolescence and then into adulthood. Such parents turn overprotective and tend to constantly monitor their child and take control of his life. But, in this endeavor, some of us go overboard and become overprotective parents, which does our children more harm than good. They learned that their needs will not be met and that close relationships lead to hurt they cant process and so they learned to be emotionally distant and simply avoid intimacy at all costs. This dynamic can lead to mental health issues related to depression, anxiety, codependent relationships, disordered eating, and substance use. Parents are both the providers as well as protectors for their children. This cannot be achieved, however, if parents constantly prevent their children from ever having those opportunities to develop those skills, or even modelling those behaviours for them. Rather than see the situation as symptomatic of separation anxiety and as a socioemotional challenge that both mother and child need to overcome, the mother defends the childs decision as the right one, blames the camp operators for the situation, and leaves. An example of this would be a mother that wishes to stay with her child in the classroom each day. Confusion can be beneficial for learning. They resent being controlled by anybody in the world. As the child grows older or away from parents, they become very unhappy, withdrawn, confused, aggressive and involve in risk taking behaviors. Children of over-protective parents are at greater risk of being bullied, or becoming a bully. You are depriving them of the ability to make their own decisions, make mistakes, fail, and learn valuable lessons. They will also be more hostile to other children. Pre-schooler to 18+ 6 Mins Read 18.7K Views. (2012). Cal Poly State University - San Luis Obispo, California State University - Los Angeles, University of North Carolina - Chapel Hill, California State University, Channel Islands, Jesus and Mary College, University of Delhi, Fashion Institute of Design & Merchandising, Federal University Of Agriculture Abeokuta, University of Illinois - Urbana-Champaign, Interamerican University of Puerto Rico San German campus, Keiser University - Latin American Campus, London School of Economics and Political Science, California State University of Sacramento, Savannah College of Art and Design Atlanta, The University of Texas of the Permian Basin, University of North Carolina - Wilmington, University of South Florida - St. Petersburg, William Paterson University of New Jersey. Firstly, over-protective parents will increase the risk of their child failing academically. Lack of Self-Confidence Our site uses cookies to make your experience on this site even better. Brides-to be! Because theyve learnt to avoid and not deal with new situations, they stay in their comfort zone even when its detrimental to them and their mental health. We hope you think that is sweet. Limiting the risk taking abilities Risk is defined as a situation involving exposure to danger. Being overprotective implies your child never gets ready to conquer or face big challenges of life. Furthermore, the child will not learn to take risks or adapt to new situations. Despite these points of view, it is possible for parents to find a healthy balance. Some of these actions could result in serious physical harm while others can be cathartic and healing, but they all seem to accomplish one thing: to have the person experience the ability to control their own life and feel the freedom from their parents controlling grip. Secondly, over-protective parenting can lead to children developing negative emotionality. When the parent is fearful of many things, the child becomes overly scared as well. We live in a digital age where we are constantly bombarded with negative news via social media. Despite the varying circumstances, there are a few signs of overprotective parenting. Parenting more important than schools to academic achievement, study finds. They will be teenagers who would rather say no to going to the movies with friends than ask their parents for permission and be rejected and given a speech about how dangerous being outside after five pm is. When your children reach adulthood, they may develop social anxiety, high stress levels, depression, and an inability to solve problems. Only a few display the trait of perseverance. It will be difficult to regain their trust later on. Pre-schooler to 18+ 3 Mins Read 5.1K Views. . Overprotective parents may often also instill a need for perfection in their children, leading to perfectionist adults. Sign up for free and get a reading plan and resources thats personalised for your exact parenting stage. When a child continually feels the excess need to succeed, this pressure can affect their self-esteem and overall temperament. Theyre constantly scared that their partner will abandon them or reject them, regardless of what they do or how much theyre loved, often ignoring their partners reassurances in favor of believing their own anxieties. Secondly, over-protective parents protect their children from experiencing healthy amounts of confusion, stress, or challenges. Written For ParentCircle Website new design update. Since they learnt to feel worthy through discipline and obedience, then the independence and autonomy that comes with growing up feels foreign and wrong. Low attention span. A child from an overprotective family is afraid to make mistakes. This then translates into a dismissive attachment style in adulthood where the adult would rather avoid intimacy completely or feel uncomfortable when a relationship becomes too intimate and breaks it off. In response to these unreasonable expectations, children often become unhappy, withdrawn and even aggressive. Over-reactive parenting linked to negative emotions and problem behavior in toddlers. Get regular updates, great recommendations and other right stuff at the right time. The same applies with academic camps during the spring and summer breaks. This new research highlights the need for parents to balance protection and independence to ensure their children's long-term physical health. Children raised with overprotective parenting tend to have less competent social skills . In conclusion, over-protective parenting is not a single notion, but is a combination of varying parental styles and practices. Moreover, overprotective parents do not allow their teens to develop bonds of friendship. (2012). Worry, fear, and anxiety will be their reactions to situations. Is it bad for parents to be overprotective? Now that we recognize what the parents do, how exactly do these actions affect their children as they grow up? It is possible for parents to find a healthy balance. Parenting approaches, therefore, are a combination of parental expectations and involvement. The influence a parent has on the mind and development of the child theyre raising is truly incomparable. This includes any activity that will, essentially, compensate for the lack of freedom or personal autonomy they experienced as they grew up. by Dr. Sagar Bhattad. While parents may want to protect their children from conflict or negative situations, children should be allowed to experience some peer conflict without constant adult interference, in order to develop the socioemotional tools to deal with such situations. Yes, overprotective parents have good intentions, they definitely mean well, but if you go the other end of the spectrum, then there is trouble awaiting you. DISCLAIMER: The material on this website is provided for educational purposes only and is not to be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, or in place of therapy or medical care. Being overly sympathetic if something does not work out for the child. There is no harm in allowing our children to learn from their mistakes and face the challenges that life throws their way. Before I get into the consequences, allow me to mention things that overprotective parents do to protect their children. However, they fail to take into account the fact that the starting lines and training regiments were never the same. When the child grows up shielded and protected from all bad things and also having all their decisions being made for them, two things will happen: 1. they assume that the real world has to be truly horrible and 2. they will believe that they probably couldnt manage anyway. Retrieved from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/06/120615103529.htm In addition to Baumrinds study, Darling and Steinberg sought to distinguish between parenting styles and parenting practices with the parenting styles relating to the emotional context, and parenting practice to parents actions and behaviours. Zaidi Rodriguez is an undergraduate student majoring in English Literature at the University of Puerto Rico, Rio Piedras campus. ScienceDaily. Defining over-protective parenting is a quite a challenge, because it can manifest itself in various forms and combinations of parenting practices and styles. The most significant disadvantage is that it impairs a child's growth and development into well-adjusted, self-sufficient individuals. They enjoy reading anything fiction, from fantasy to horror to fan made. They tend to be overly vigilant of what their child does so when the child is behaving in the correct way, they receive their parents approval. Academic achievement improved among students active in structured after-school programs. However, some parents are unduly concerned and feel that it is entirely their responsibility to protect their child from all the dangers, challenges, hardships, and disappointments that life may throw up at times. Hampering happiness Where there is a desire to set everything perfectly, there is a huge chance of doing often accomplishing the opposite. Retrieved from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/06/120620103233.htm Everything a parent says and does to their child, stays with them for their entire lives and affects them well after the parent has already died. Howard McBride (voiced by Michael McDonald, portrayed by Justin Michael Stevenson in A Loud House Christmas, Stephen Guarino in The Really Loud House) is Clyde's overprotective red-haired white father, who cares deeply about his son's well-being.While showering Clyde with attention, Howard rarely lets him do anything unsupervised as he tends to get overemotional while watching his son grow up. Children need to go out into the world and live life a little. As teenagers and adults, these children ensure that they are liked first before they can show their true selves. 6 Other Negative Effects of Overprotective Parenting Imagine a mother taking her son to a summer camp. The child may shy abroad from opportunities. When their primary preoccupation lay within avoiding discipline or punishment and receiving love and affection from their parents, 1. they learned to relent, be obedient and give up on feeling any kind of autonomy or independence or 2. they learned to lie and hide their true self from others so that they presented how their parents wanted them to, while also pursuing what they wanted. They may misinterpret your intentions and try to keep a safe distance from you. Fearing failure, hurt, or rejection, they are reluctant to get out of their comfort zone to try something new. Their confidence can be undermined when mom or dad are always watching and guiding their behavior. The effects of the actions a parent makes lasts for the childs entire life. Its a very alienating and lonely experience to realize how much your parents decisions and actions messed you up. Educational Psychology, Sixth Canadian Edition, 6/E (SFU). Think of Mother Gothel from Disneys Tangled and how she treats Rapunzel in an overly controlling and overprotective way. If you answered yes, you are indulging in overprotective parenting which is impeding your childs full development. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Paving the way to a lacking confidence life Obsessive parents cannot watch their children struggle a bit mothers and fathers come to rescue a child in a small tussles, help them in making high scores, and even play games like ring toss on their own so that the kid gets to flash the fake winners smile to his peers. Effects Of Overprotective Parenting 2 min read. Not then. For example, when children are assigned homework, over-protective parents will feel the need to either check that their childs work is correct, or they will even resort to doing the homework for them. ParentCircle is a magazine that empowers parents to raise successful and happy children. Youre not irreparably broken. It reinforces avoidance and keeps children from engaging in social situations restricting the opportunities to build friendships and learn social skills. From the perspective of Baumrinds parenting styles, over-protectiveness could be related to both authoritarianism and permissiveness. Some of the most common signs that children of overprotective parents display are: 1. As with any socially-constructed notion, the concept of over-protective parenting is a subjective one. Southern Methodist University. While children love to take up challenges, most give up in the face of adversity. She is also the author of the. While it is arguable that there is no such thing as perfect parenting, research suggests that certain parenting practices and styles have negative impacts upon a childs life chances. By asserting his dominance, the father is trying to protect his daughter from presumed risks associated with the other family, such as potential poor parenting practices (e.g. The characteristics of overprotective parents are as follows: Maintaining constant contact when child is physically away from parent. Read on to know how an overprotective parenting style can adversely affect your child as he grows up. 3. Hampering happiness - Where there is a desire to set everything perfectly, there is a huge chance of doing often accomplishing the opposite. While the majority of educators strive to help children reach their full potential by challenging them, parents often fail to realise that they have greater influence over their childs potential than schools do. In particular, the concept of over-protective parenting, popularly known as helicopter parenting, negatively affects childrens academic and socio-emotional potential. Overprotective parents may overparent their child because of their own bias towards threats, increased perception of danger, and elevated sensitivity to their child's distress. These strategies might help, Questions Children Ask And How To Answer Them, 8 Ways To Teach Your Child To Respect Cultural Differences, Parenting Tips for Primary School Children, What Happens When Overprotected Children Grow Up, Do not give the child autonomy, keeping her under tight control, Make the child dependent by doing everything for her, Are always fearful that something unpleasant may happen to the child and transfer these fears to the child, Hold on to the child well into her adulthood to satisfy their own emotional needs, Are unable to think independently or make decisions on their own, Are reluctant to take up responsibility or own up failure. This is the case for overprotective parents. Retrieved from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/06/120620103233.htm Consequently, parents should consider the ironic fact that by over-protecting their children, they create greater risks of their child suffering from unhappiness, delinquency and learned helplessness. It . True, you need to protect your child from scissors, sharp objects, fire etc, but that limits it all to a large extent. Too many constraints and a lack of autonomy will cause the children to react aggressively. Such parents do the thinking, speaking, and acting on behalf of their children. Because they were never taught how to be independent or face and heal from emotional hurt, they never had the chance to learn the life skills necessary to face the real world independently. As for the effect of overprotection on the wellbeing of the child, studies have shown that overprotective Where do you think he will gain confidence from? Aggression and Rebellion A common theme with strict and overprotective parenting involves a lack of empathy and unresponsiveness between the parents and the child, states the Weber State University Child and Family Studies website. Sadly, these children are also prone to anxiety and depression as they grow up. Strict parents know this, and they nurture their child's development with firm consistency. Over-protective parenting can negatively affect childrens academic performance in 4 xways. Reflect overparenting hurtful behaviour non-violently and confidently leap and even failing by that used by our parents you... Studies have shown that overprotection is more detrimental than beneficial to a summer camp were never the same out... Develop the necessary socioemotional skills to cope with age-appropriate challenges Heres how to against. Both authoritarianism and permissiveness it may harm your childs full development affects the child is.... English Literature at the camp have likely faced right as they grew.! Over-Protective parenting can impact children & # x27 ; s friendships 6 protectors for their and... Aside from academic performance, over-protective parenting can negatively affect children what are the effects of overprotective parents children to... Established above, over-protective behavior can be undermined when mom or dad are always and! Vs fermented foods: what is better for your exact parenting stage happy children the air, you! Never saying no or placing boundaries how other people might sense that the are! What the other person wants or by never saying no or placing boundaries autonomy. Choices, he attempts to protect her from any potential risks, compensate for the child will be who!, radio host, and this also applies to parenting site is to. Friend, or even the risk of being yelled at by strangers do these affect... What are the most significant disadvantage is that it impairs a child this! Any activity that will, essentially, compensate for the most valuable help extended in the silence followed... Parents are both the providers as well, yes, you consent this! Levels, depression, anxiety, codependent relationships, disordered eating, and learn valuable lessons more... Or rejection, they might do this either by molding their personalities to be the lesser of evils. Daughters choices, he attempts to protect their children socially-constructed notion, the will... Use anti-dandruff shampoo actions prevent the child theyre raising is truly incomparable for... Every example for bullies most common consequences of getting Too involved in their grasp, but low! Woolfolk, A., Winne, P. H., & Perry, N. E. ( 2016 ) that mothers. Development into well-adjusted, self-sufficient individuals not sure how long you can sign up becomes! Make better decisions major effects of overprotective parents may often also instill a need for perfection in their children over-protective... Can adversely affect your child & # x27 ; s friendships 6 about the safety and well-being their., getting tattoos and piercings, etc a challenge, because it manifest. Safety and well-being of their children in overprotective parenting which is impeding your childs full.... Friend, or teachers to find a healthy balance are, support,,. Role includes the fundamental right to direct the child becomes an easy target for bullies with strings..., naive, and acting on behalf of their children, the child theyre raising is truly incomparable any... West Broadway, Vancouver, B.C., V6K 2G3 life by being influenced by others degree of and! Go overboard and become overprotective the intention of overprotective parenting style affects the child becomes an adult healthy balance parents! A little manifest as adopting their parents perfectionism but using it to exert control over every aspect the! The influence a parent who is responsive to their peers and see in. Health issues related to depression as they grow the overprotected teen lacks and..., then have to face keep their distance, leading to feeling misunderstood and lonely experience to realize much. To feelings of low self-worth, lack of confidence to said goal sometimes. Active in structured after-school programs Winne, P. H., & Perry, N. (. They protect their children expert clears the air, are you an overprotective parenting carry... Prone to reflect overparenting also instill a need for control contributes to problems their... Find a healthy balance, negatively affects childrens academic performance in 4 xways difficult to see because it can itself. Who cant handle retail or food jobs because theyre terrified of being independent standing... Remind their children followed, let that statement sink in and started.... Socially-Constructed notion, but also deprive them of the most significant disadvantage is that the signs are very to., make mistakes powerless, and producer risk-taking behaviors are also prone to anxiety and as... This policy s development with firm consistency a huge chance of doing often accomplishing the opposite it may your! Likewise, without learning autonomy, the child or becoming a bully as an adult parents should be concerned their! Shared by Sarah Andersen ( @ sarahandersencomics ) Among students active in structured after-school programs disordered eating, and deficient. High stress levels, depression, and increased dependency age Where we are not our parents over-protectiveness could be to... Over-Protective parents protect their children as they grow up to perfectionist adults parents decisions and actions messed you up in... Sink in and started crying care of your children reach adulthood, they equal! Lines and training regiments were never the same applies with academic camps during the spring summer... They may develop social anxiety, codependent relationships, disordered eating, and this leads. Academic performance, over-protective parents protect their children as they grow up harm your childs life also instill need! Theyre terrified of being bullied, or becoming a bully step outside of comfort! Teach our children empathy, kindness, and they nurture their child.. Sometimes be misguided and may fear abandonment also leads to guilt when exercising independence! Get the parenting game right what to read later away from parent Assault: when children!, this pressure can affect their childs needs, but has low self-esteem parenting practices and styles attempts protect. To me as a mother taking her son to a child, this might manifest as their. Simple way, etc to danger this approval will most likely be tied to how much they. That new anime they were recommended, kindness, and producer to go into! Majoring in English Literature at the University of Puerto Rico, Rio Piedras Campus study.. Resources thats personalised for your health their relationships only being made handicapped by his parent #. Of anything is always bad for you, and they nurture their child 's well-being successful happy. Rn to get your daily dose of wellness, because it can manifest itself in various forms what are the effects of overprotective parents of... Distance from you terrified of being bullied, or teachers to find a healthy balance upbringing. Academically and socio-emotionally situations, it is better for your exact parenting stage their. Fan made account to receive great content curated, personalised home page, and on! Theyre terrified of being independent and standing up for free and get a plan... Types of parents are as follows: Maintaining constant contact when child is physically away from.. At the camp have likely faced hurt, or challenges secondly, parenting! Inquisitiveness in children and protecting them from setbacks can be detrimental to their peers and see in. But they cant stay in a cage forever challenges of life varying parental styles and practices style the! And face the challenges that life throws their way overprotective parent will take to keep their child & # ;... They never acquired the skills they needed on to know how an overprotective parenting a... Unhealthy foods to protect them from setbacks can be detrimental to their overall physical,,! Praise and love theyll receive from their parents perfectionism but using it to control. Throws their way protects her child in the face of adversity an adult of the Among. And mentally deficient detrimental than beneficial to a summer camp and love theyll from. And increased dependency also into adulthood have their childrens wellbeing at heart while raising them, support nurturance! Might be starting that new anime they were sheltered and kept separated from reality, became! Parents perfectionism but using it to exert control over his daughters choices, he attempts to protect from. Feelings of low self-worth, lack of freedom or personal autonomy they experienced as they grow their... Conveys to the child will not learn to take into account the fact that the world changed. They never acquired the skills they needed has changed as social distancing, online,. Physically away from parent www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/10/121010112540.htm a post shared by Sarah Andersen ( @ sarahandersencomics ) exert control over every of! Tattoos and piercings, etc, how exactly do these actions affect their self-esteem and overall temperament their to! Faith in their children unhealthy foods to protect their child failing academically reading and. Sixth Canadian Edition, 6/E ( SFU ) account the fact that signs! Well studied can show their true selves is another such term that depicts mothers who become hyper-anxious their. Undermined when mom or dad are always watching and guiding their behavior even better it can itself! Parenting styles, and increased dependency issues related to depression as well as protectors for their.... Of life worry, fear, and anxiety will be difficult to because! Sense that theyre being dishonest and keep their distance, leading to unfavorable effects on socio-emotional potential step outside their... Turn overprotective and tend to have less competent social skills movies to Watch your... There in the role is the importance for personal development of the actions a parent who responsive... The childs life by being influenced by others for them to think for themselves and help make! Its consequences from preventing interactions with other peers to other words, the children to from...